Tena'im

Found In: Sanctifying Intimate Relationships, Honoring Relationship Milestones

Tags: tenaim

By Joshua Yan and Alison Engel | Document

True and certain, established and enduring, fair and faithful, beloved and cherished, delightful and pleasant, awesome and powerful, correct and accepted, good and beautiful is this affirmation to us forever and ever.

_________________, son of _________and _________ and _________, daughter of _____and __________ agree to enter into the covenant of marriage, through huppah and betrothal, in accordance with the Laws of Moses and Israel.

The wedding will take place, b'ezrat Hashem, on the ____ day of _____ in the year ___corresponding to the Jewish date of the __ day of ___ in the year ___, in _____, ____.

__________ and ___________commit to the following conditions for their marriage

  • To create a home that follows Jewish rhythms, including a meaningful celebration of Shabbat and holidays, and incorporates Jewish rituals, traditions, and laws into their everyday life.
  • To make tikkun olam a part of their everyday life by having an environmentally conscious home, being involved in social justice projects and organizations, and giving tzedakah on a regular basis.
  • ____makes a legal commitment not to withhold a Get should one be required.
  • To live a life that affirms their belief in the importance of diversity and equality in their community and the world.
  • To give friendship and support to one another and to work together as equal partners through life's challenges.
  • To resolve conflict through listening to each other and empathizing with one another, and through taking responsibility for their own feelings.
  • To support each other to be excellent in their professional endeavours, but, at the same time, to make their home life and time together as a family their top priority.
  • To share financial responsibilities for the family and, at the same time, affirm each other's freedom to make personal spending decisions. They will also maintain awareness that money is a means to an end and not an end in itself.
  • To share home responsibilities fairly, recognizing each other's abilities and constraints.
  • To, God willing, be blessed with children and to raise them in a home filled with love for one other , dedication to Judaism, and commitment to inclusiveness.
  • To create a warm and open home where their family, friends, and community always feel welcome.

They shall not run away nor conceal from each other anything with regard to their possessions; rather, they should equally share authority over their possessions, in peace and tranquility, as is the way of those who are children of the Torah and who are in awe of God. All this was done with perfect understanding and due deliberation,

AND EVERYTHING IS VALID AND CONFIRMED.

Attested to ____________________ 
                 Groom

Attested to ____________________
                 Bride

Attested to ____________________
                 Witness

Attested to ____________________
                 Witness

Used by permission of the authors