Bat Mitzvah Battle

Found In: Bar / Bat Mitzvah, Divorce

Anonymous | Poem

Silenced by the
majority
who don't know
or don't care
or can't hear
I thought I
made myself
clear
I repeated the story
over and over
until I couldn't
get the words out
anymore
I tried to explain
in advance
this time
so there wouldn't be
anymore surprises
so I could feel
secure
and have faith
that my spiritual
community
would support me
when the big bad wolf
came to blow down
my house

the rabbinot yet
ordainedsays he
understands, he promised
but then my
ex-mother-in-law
called him and
mentioned that she
is on the board of
the rabbinic association
he wants to join

she encouraged him
to be receptive to her son
when he calls

And so my rabbi danced

and when he finally
told me how he came to
welcome my ex to his
office, to reconsider his
wishes

my fantasy of dancing
at my daughter's bat mitzvah
at my wedding to a man
a mensch
I met there

disintegrated
chronic post traumatic stress
enhanced

And then hethe rabbiwanted a hug
just like my ex-husband
so he could feel good
after hurting me

my cries
muffled
muzzled
muted

by the big bad bully
son of a bully
using rabbis
to destroy
my sanctuary

What does that leave
for our daughters?