Tags: miscarriage, yotzer
One who shapes,
Who formed us out of moistened clay,
Who rolled and pinched and sculpted the world,
hold me now.
You who enable wisps of seeds to grow,
Who partnered the life which grew inside me,
Life was gifted.
shape me a place where I can weep,
and mourn the loss,
and let the blackness inside
Help me say goodbye
to the child
who was growing within me,
to the dreams I bore,
to the love I held within for that budding soul,
Let my voice ring,
a mother's call,
wild to the universe,
stand by me,
stand at my side,
and watch my tear fall and touch the earth.
Hear my pain and
You who shaped me,
Heal my body and my soul.
Mend my spirit.
Thread new life among my bones.
Help me to find ground again.
To feel the earth beneath my toes.
To smell the beckoning scent of rich soil.
To see shoots of green emerge through winter beds,
determined hands grasping life.
To hear the sap rushing within.
I kneel to plant.
A seed of life.
An act of faith.
Sower of life,
Take my hand and, for a time,
hold it tight.
* Hayotzer, one of seventy names of God, is translated roughly as "One Who fashions, forms, creates."Excerpts from Lifecycles Vol. 1: Jewish Women on Life Passages and Personal Milestones, copyright 1994. Edited by Debra Orenstein (Woodstock, VT: Jewish Lights Publishing). $19.95 + $3.75 s/h. Order by mail or call 800-962-4544 or online at www.jewishlights.com.