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This Year is too Real: A Personal Unetaneh Tokef

woman looking out at sea
Who by chemo and who radiation?
And who by mastectomy and who escapes with a lumpectomy?
Who by only anastrozole and who by adriamycin, taxol, and cytoxan?

And who will survive cancer only to crumble from osteoporosis?

Threats to my body
Threats from disease

The dust to which I will return is whirling
Blowing from behind
I dare not look back or it will catch me

The impersonal tsunami of disease, poverty, war and famine has become personal.
Dumping chaos at my feet
An avalanche of chaos

יהוה רעי 

God who cares?
Or God who doesn't even notice?
Which are you?

I bow before you knowing there is nothing you will do
I am but an anonymous piece of grass;

Yet after each supplication:
Prayers;
Repentance;
Good deeds

I rise
I breathe
I live

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