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A Prayer for the Survivor of a Loved One's Suicide

young woman with glasses sitting at window bay looking out sad

Avinu Shebashamayim, our Father in Heaven,

I come to you, broken in heart and soul.
My beloved [relation], [name] is no longer with me on earth, having died by suicide.

I sit here in disbelief, shock and anger.
Why did this happen? Why did [he/she/they] leave me? Why didn't I see the signs more clearly? What more could I have done to save [him/her/them] from the demons and the pain which consumed them?

I pray for the strength to proceed through the journey of grief before me
and to accept the truth, that I am not respondsible for this death.

Guide me to live in my new normal, with the understanding that I will get through this dark time in my life with renewed direction and clearer purpose.

Teach me to be patient with myself and others as we all travel at our own pace through grief, knowing that there is no reward for speed.

Strengthen me when I need your strength, to just get out of bed, take a shower or a walk, to do something outside my comfort zone, making decisions or taking action as I might not have ever done before.

Allow me to forgive myself of any guilt I might feel or regrets that I might have.
Let me honor my anger but not dwell in it. 
Today, I will choose to focus on my life with [name] and not how it was ended. 

With gratitude I acknowledge all who have helped and supported me, you have been my lifeline to live another day.

Lord, I pray that my beloved [name]'s soul is now bound to your care, that the pain and suffering is over, that they are whole, restored to good health and wellbeing.

Fill and bless my heart, that I may continue to live life in your honor and through your mitzvot, so I might be a blessing to you as my beloved (name) 's memory is to me.

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