A Prayer for Closeting/Misgendering Yourself

This prayer is the one I say (in either the complete form or just the last line) every time I have to misgender myself—on a government form, in a space where demanding respect isn't possible, with family. This is for every time I closet myself or hide one of my identities to make it through the world. Since I'm genderqueer, I centered that experience in the final line, but I think the sentiment can apply to any identity you hide to live your life.

Lord, thank you for the blessing of life, and for bringing me into this world even though it is beset with misunderstandings, with ignorance, and with hate. Thank you for understanding that on this planet—an imperfect reflection of your grace—that I, that many of your creations, cannot fully express the glory of the image you’ve bestowed upon us. We may need to hide our true colors to stay well, we may need to break commandments to survive, we may need to lie in order to live. Though we cannot, just yet, expect all to see the light, to see the beauty in our difference, the community made vibrantly possible by our distinctions—we pray for a day we may no longer have to hide anything in order to walk freely among our brothers, sisters and siblings. We pray for a day when our orientations are celebrated, not maligned; our faiths extolled, not erased; our genders admired and loved rather than repressed and scorned—when all our oppressed identities can unyoke themselves from the need to make invisible that which garners violence and hate. When that day does come, God, may we all walk together, hand in hand, with love for the diversity you’ve gifted us, in awe of the kaleidoscopic world we craft together.                                                                                          

Blessed be the Lord, our God, whose first creation combined both Adam and Eve in one body, who continues to create life that expresses the divine in new ways, in complex forms, with infinite possibilities. 

Ritualwell content is available for free thanks to the generous support of readers like you! Please help us continue to offer meaningful content with a donation today. 


Sign up for our newsletter


Want the latest news from Ritualwell?

Subscribe for the latest rituals, online learning opportunities, and unique Judaica finds from our store. Plus special discounts for subscribers!

* indicates required