Adler, Rachel. "Brit Ahuvim: A Marriage Between Subjects,” in Engendering Judaism: An Inclusive Theology and Ethics. Jewish Publication Society, 1998.
Evaluates the traditional Jewish wedding ceremony as based on two mutually exclusive theories of relationship: property law and metaphors of covenant. Adler then suggests a new wedding ritual and marriage contract based on partnership law. The Brit Ahuvim, or Lovers’ Covenant, replaces the spousal acquisition with the couple’s acquisition of their partnership
Berner, Leila Gal, and Renee Primack Gal. "Uncharted Territory: Lesbian Commitment Ceremonies,” in Lifecycles, Volume 1. Ed. Rabbi Debra Orenstein . Jewish Lights Publishing, 1994.
Explores which elements and texts of the traditional Jewish wedding can be reclaimed for commitment ceremonies for same-sex couples. Includes the authors’ ketubah, which consists of the couple’s affirmations to each other linked to biblical and rabbinic ethical texts.
Beckerman, Cheryl. "Kiddushin and Kesharin: Toward an Egalitarian Wedding Ceremony.” Kerem No. 5. 1997, pp 84-100.
The author and her husband supplemented their wedding ceremony (kiddushin) ceremony with a ritual that they called kesharin—connection—in order to mitigate the feminist difficulties with kiddushin. Includes a detailed presentation of their ceremony, with both Hebrew and English texts.
Diamant, Anita. The New Jewish Wedding. Simon Schuster, 2001.
Required reading for couples planning a Jewish marriage. Step-by-step guidance on every step of the wedding process, giving traditional understandings of each element and as well as creative interpretations and alternatives. Includes examples of ketubot and invitations and new poems and translations of the sheva brachot (seven wedding blessings), and a new chapter focusing on converts, non-Jews, and same-sex couples.
Herring, Basil, and Kenneth Auman. The Prenuptial Agreement: Halakhic and Pastoral Considerations. The Orthodox Caucus/Jason Aronson, 1996.
The text and explanations of the prenuptial agreement endorsed by the Rabbinical Council of America, a major Orthodox rabbinical organization, used to prevent women from becoming agunot, women who have not been granted a Jewish divorce by their recalcitrant husbands.
Horowitz, Paul, and Scott Klein. "A Ceremony of Commitment,” in Twice Blessed: On Being Lesbian, Gay and Jewish. Ed. Christie Balka and Andy Rose. Beacon Press, 1989.
A brief narrative describing the couple’s relationship and subsequent commitment ceremony, which included responsive readings from Walt Whitman, Harvey Milk, and the Song of Songs.
JOFA Journal. Summer 1999.
This entire issue of the newsletter from the Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance has many suggestions for incorporating women’s voices and feminist values into Orthodox wedding ceremonies. Available from JOFA, 459 Columbus Avenue, Suite 329, New York, NY 10024, 212-752-7133, jofa@rcn.com.
Kaplan, Rabbi Aryeh. Made in Heaven: A Jewish Wedding Guide. Moznaim Publishing Corp., 1983.
Traditional Orthodox explanations of the laws and customs of the wedding ceremony; includes references to sources/prooftexts for many of the legal rulings and explanations of laws.
Kaplan-Mayer, Gabrielle. The Creative Jewish Wedding Book: A Hands-On Guide to New & Old Traditions, Ceremonies & Celebrations. Jewish Lights Publishing, 2004.
An accessible and engaging guide to Jewish wedding customs, helping couples create their own wedding day; inclusive of same-sex and interfaith couples, and gives suggestions for dealing with family dynamics.
Kaufman, Michael. Love, Marriage, and Family in Jewish Law and Tradition. Jason Aronson.
Provides a detailed look at the traditional Jewish view of marriage, love, and sex, and a description of the Jewish wedding.
Lamm, Maurice. The Jewish Way in Love and Marriage. Jonathan David Publishers, 1980.
A classic, traditional exploration of Judaism’s approach to marriage and weddings.
Leifer, Daniel I. "On Writing New Ketubot,” in The Jewish Woman: New Perspectives. Ed. Elizabeth Koltun. Schocken, 1976, pp 50-61.
How to write a marriage document that will allow for mutual right to divorce.
Lerner, Rabbi Devon A. Celebrating Interfaith Marriages: Creating Your Jewish/Christian Ceremony. Henry Holt and Company, 1999.
A Reform rabbi who has officiated at intermarriages for over twenty years suggests how you can incorporate Jewish and Christian elements into an interfaith ceremony. Includes examples of interfaith ketubot, sample ceremonies and many readings and rituals that acknowledge the couple’s different traditions.
Petsonk, Judy, and Jim Remsen. The Intermarriage Handbook: A Guide for Jews and Christians. New York: Quill/William Morrow and Co., 1988.
A comprehensive self-help book for interfaith couples, covering everything from dealing with parental objections, finding one’s own spiritual path, and planning an interfaith wedding.
"Same-Sex Jewish Marriage in Our Generation." Special issue of New Menorah: The Journal of Aleph: Alliance for Jewish Renewal, No. 59, Spring 5760/2000.
Articles by rabbis and community members that grapple with the questions raised by same-sex couples that want to have a Jewish wedding. Includes pieces on how to create a wedding ceremony and pre-marital counseling for same-sex couples. (Available from Aleph, tel. 215-247-9700.)
Schneider, Susan Weidman. Intermarriage: The Challenge of Living with Differences Between Christians and Jews. New York: The Free Press, 1989.
An exploration of the struggles and conflicts within interfaith marriages, and the strategies some couples use to deal with them. Includes sections on "The Wedding" and "Cycles, Ceremonies, Celebrations."
Stein, David E.S. Ketubah Kit for Rabbis: A Reconstructionist Approach. eBookShuk.com, 2003.
A comprehensive look at how to applying elements and aspects of the traditional ketubah in contemporary weddings.
Wiener, Rabbi Nancy H. Beyond Breaking the Glass: A Spiritual Guide to Your Jewish Wedding. CCAR Press, 2001.
Openly geared to both heterosexual and same-sex couples, this book explores the history and meaning of Jewish wedding rituals and customs, and Reform Jewish approaches to marriage. Includes a variety of ceremonies, creative and gender-sensitive translations of prayers and blessings, and a section on intermarriage.
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