Since marking a burial place with a gravestone is a tradition that has evolved over the years, rather than being a practice dating from ancient times, there are no laws governing timing or form. Depending on the customs of one’s community, unveiling the grave marker can range from right after the shivah [first week of mourning] to at the conclusion of shloshim [first thirty days of mourning], or on the first anniversary of the death.
Similarly, there is no formulaic ceremony for unveiling the stone, so its form can be discussed in consultation with the officiating spiritual leader or the entire substance and conduct of the ceremony decided upon and led by family and friends.
This section offers a selection of traditional prayers and psalms, along with various readings that can be used both for unveilings and other memorial services.
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El Malei Rachamim | Prayer
Traditional memorial prayer recited at funerals in which God is asked to gather up the soul of the departed for eternal life
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Psalm 23 | Reading
From Kol Haneshama: Prayers for a House of Mourning
Well-known psalm often read at funerals or memorial services
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Feminist Interpretation of Psalm 23 | Prayer
By Phyllis Bass
A re-imagining by a women's Torah-study group
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Paths of Fullness: An Interpretation of Psalm 23 | Reading
By Rabbi Brant Rosen
From Kol Haneshama: Prayers for a House of Mourning
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Memorial Service | Complete Ceremony
By Sarah E. Weiss
Appropriate for funeral, memorial, or marking periods of mourning
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Commemorative Acrostics | Ritual Component
From Kolot
Selecting verses from Psalms on the basis of the Hebrew name of the deceased
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Kaddish Yatom | Prayer
The traditional mourner's prayer that makes no mention of death but rather affirms God's presence in life
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A Woman's Kaddish | Article
By Jennifer A. Horowitz
Offering an alternative to Orthodox women who cannot or prefer not to say kaddish
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Psalm 138: An Alternative to Kaddish | Prayer
Parallels the spirit of the Mourner's Kaddish, with non-gendered phrasing in translation
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Mourner’s Kaddish for Everyday | Poem
By Debra Cash
A modern poetic interpretation
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Each of Us Has A Name | Poem
By Zelda, translated by Marcia Lee Falk
Widely used in Israel on national days of remembrance
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Four Things | Poem
Author unknown
Sounding a note of optimism
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Yesh Kochavim: There Are Stars | Poem
By Hannah Szenes
From the Jewish-Hungarian poet most widely known for "Eli, Eli"
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