Lifecycles

Kaddish, the memorial prayer, is traditionally recited by one who has lost a parent, sibling, child or spouse every day for 30 days following the funeral. One who has lost a parent continues for an additional ten months. Kaddish is said in the presence of a minyan (prayer quorum of ten) at morning, afternoon, and evening prayer services every day.

Although most Jews associate kaddish with death, the prayer itself, written and intoned in rhythmic Aramaic, makes no mention of death at all. Rather, the prayer affirms God’s sovereignty, calling the mourner from the chaos of her despair back to God’s presence and to life itself.

Contemporary Issues

Almost every aspect of the practice of kaddish can and has been transformed by contemporary practice. Thus, while the prayer is normally recited for the relatives listed above, many people say it for other friends or relatives. Some recite kaddish for 30 days or a year; some for less. Some say it three times a day, some once a day, some once a week.

Although traditionally recited in the presence of a minyan, where presumably the mourner is comforted by the presence of community, mourners unable to find a minyan, or mourners who do not join themselves with the Jewish community in that way, will nevertheless recite kaddish alone. Traditionally, women did not recite kaddish, but today, many women, even in Orthodox circles, do.

Finally, notwithstanding the power of these words, contemporary liturgists have written alternative prayers to be said in addition to or instead of kaddish.