Lifecycles

(In advance of the ceremony, the rabbi should complete the documentation, except for the signatures.)
(Introductory Readings/Offerings may be included at the rabbi’s discretion.)

Rabbi: As marriages are confirmed and consecrated through the rituals and language of our spiritual tradition, so too, when we come to the time of the ending of a marriage, we turn to sources from our tradition to provide structure, meaning and support.

Judaism affirms the sanctity of marriage, and the hope that two partners who have made a commitment to each other will grow in their relationship throughout their life together.

But Jewish tradition also recognizes that marriages can, and do, sometimes come to an end.  This can bring sadness at the end of dreams, plans and hopes, even as such endings may also be times of release and renewal [and perhaps even relief].

At this time, as we gather to witness the ending of the marriage between the two of you, we ask that you recall now the best in each other, [and the affection/love] that first brought you together.

May the good things that you shared remain with you, and may the differences that have come between you come to rest.

(The next section is said first to one partner, and then repeated to the other partner; each responds.)

Do you, _______________________, of your own free will, come here today to release your former (husband/wife/spouse/[life-]partner) from the sacred bonds that once bound you together?

Are you, _______________________, having considered well the decision you have made and the direction you are taking, now prepared to release___________________as your (husband/wife/spouse/ [life-]partner), so that s/he may go freely into life and, if s/he chooses, enter into a new relationship [of marriage]?

Have you, ______________________, of your own free will, requested that a Jewish document of divorce be prepared on your behalf for presentation to __________________________?

(The rabbi should read aloud the English translation of each document [and the Hebrew, as appropriate], and then continue)

Rabbi: You have heard the words with which each of you agrees to release the other.  I ask that each of you now place your signatures on these documents of divorce. The Bet Din will sign after you.

(Following the signing, each partner now prepares to receive a divorce document. With the consent of the couple, the rabbi may invite each partner to return her/his wedding ring to the other. In addition, any other rings or other hand jewelry should be removed. The rabbi asks one partner to stand [in body or spirit], and cup her/his hands together. The other partner is asked to place gently the appropriate divorce document into the cupped hands.)

Rabbi: As you place this document into _____________’s hands, please repeat these words:

“With this document, I release you as my (husband/wife/spouse/[life-]partner). May the good that we shared be with you, and may that which has come between us come to rest.”

(If the couple has children, and circumstances warrant, the rabbi may ask each person to say)

“Although we no longer live together, we will continue to share the privileges and responsibilities of being parents to our child/children. May we always strive to overcome our differences and act in [his/her/ their] best interest.”

(The rabbi may invite each person to add any other personal words.)

(Each partner then hands the document back to the rabbi, who cuts the four corners of the document, signifying that each relationship is unique, and therefore, that which has been used to mark the end of the marriage cannot be used again.)

(With the consent of the couple, the rabbi may also suggest cutting their Ketubah into two pieces, so that each person retains a part of the wedding document. Alternatively, each person could keep a copy of the Ketubah.)

Closing Prayer [or other reflections, readings, poems as appropriate]

________________________and____________________, as you go from this place to [walk] [journey on] [continue on] your individual paths, we pray that you will be blessed with compassion, understanding, wisdom and perspective.

May each of you find healing of spirit, and peace of heart and mind.

May each of you be blessed with the opportunity to build new relationships where love, trust and joy can grow.

M’kor HaHayim, Source of Life, Ha-Rachaman, Source of Compassion, bring peace to ____________and ____________, and may the futures that lie before each of them be filled with blessings. (And we say…Amen)

(The rabbi should make sure that each participant in the divorce receives copies of the documents)