Judaism views marriage as a sacred partnership. As such, two individuals who can no longer live in a sacred way with one another may divorce. Judaism has always recognized this sad reality, although, according to the Talmud, when a man divorces his first wife, even the altar in the Temple sheds tears.
That said, the practice of Jewish divorce remains deeply sexist, insofar as only the husband acts, while the wife is acted upon. The writers at ritualwell seek to remedy this situation through the creation of egalitarian divorce ceremonies and post-get ceremonies of mourning and celebration.
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A Ritual Acknowledging Separation | Complete Ceremony
By Rabbi Nina Beth Cardin
A mourning ceremony following the traditional get for a woman do with her friends. The ceremony centers around the tearing of a sheet or pillowcase meant to evoke sexual intimacy, the wedding canopy, keri'ah, the rending of clothing in mourning, and the cutting of the get.
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Separating | Complete Ceremony
By Ruth Berger Goldston
A ceremony using havdalah, the ceremony separating Shabbat from the week, to mark the separation of the couple
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A Ritual of Release | Complete Ceremony
By Rabbis Paula Marcus, Eli Cohen, and Lori Klein
A separation ritual for a same-sex couple prior to finalizing a get
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On the Breakdown of a Relationship | Complete Ceremony
By Helen Freeman
A ceremony for a woman and friends using a bowl of stones. The stones echo stones which are traditionally left on graves as signs of remembrance.
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Renewing the Ritual of Get | Article
By Or N. Rose and Judith Rosenbaum
Revisioning the get ceremony to be more than a legal procedure and take into account the spiritual and emotional
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Get: A Document of Release from the Holy Bonds of Marriage | Complete Ceremony
By Myron Kinberg
The author suggests convening a Beit Chesed (a House of Lovingkindness) instead of a traditional Beit Din (Rabbinic Court) to perform the get ceremony. The ceremony can be egalitarian and is accompanied by a prayer of release.
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A Jewish Divorce Ritual for Our Time | Complete Ceremony
By Burt Jacobson
An egalitarian version of a traditional get ceremony.
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Havdalah Divorce | Complete Ceremony
By Megan Doherty
A divorce ceremony for the couple to be used following or, in some cases, in place of, a traditional get.
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Reconstructionist Egalitarian Divorce Options | Article
By Rabbi Margot Stein
Along with a traditional get (Jewish bill of divorce) granted by the husband, Reconstructionism offers a woman-initiated get and a mutual get.
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Divorce Ritual: Both Partners Participating | Complete Ceremony
From the Reconstructionist Rabbinical Association Manual
An egalitarian ritual that provides dignity for a painful process
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Divorce Ritual: One Partner Participating | Complete Ceremony
From the Reconstructionist Rabbinical Association Manual
A ritual that provides dignity for a painful process and accords respect to the non-participating partner
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Non-Gendered Reconstructionist Jewish Divorce (Get) | Document
From the Reconstructionist Rabbinical Association Manual
Language which can be used for an egalitarian bill of divorce/ritual "get"
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Woman-Initiated Reconstructionist Jewish Divorce (Get) | Document
From the Reconstructionist Rabbinical Association Manual
Language which can be used for an egalitarian bill of divorce/ritual "get," woman to man
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Man-Initiated Reconstructionist Jewish Divorce (Get) | Document
From the Reconstructionist Rabbinical Association Manual
Language which can be used for an egalitarian bill of divorce/ritual "get," man to woman
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Confirmation of Reconstructionist Jewish Divorce (Patur) - Female Couple | Document
From the Reconstructionist Rabbinical Association Manual
A certificate for dissolution of a partnership between two women
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Confirmation of Reconstructionist Jewish Divorce (Patur) - Male Couple | Document
From the Reconstructionist Rabbinical Association Manual
A certificate for dissolution of a partnership between two men
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Healing the Jewish Divorce Ceremony and Ourselves | Complete Ceremony
By Tirzah Firestone
An egalitarian and emotion-filled get ceremony performed in the presence of the couple's havurah, which has also been torn apart by the divorce
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Mourning a Marriage | Complete Ceremony
By Rabbi Laura Geller
An article describing a ceremony for a woman to do among friends following a traditional get
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My Un-Wedding Ceremony | Complete Ceremony
By Judyth Labensohn
A ritual to be performed by a woman with women friends after the traditional get ceremony. The ritual moves from mourning to celebration and renewal.
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Yom Chadash [A New Day] | Complete Ceremony
By Myrna Gale
A ceremony for a divorced woman to perform with a group of friends in which she mourns her old life and celebrates her future
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Spiritual Divorce Ceremony | Complete Ceremony
By Rabbi Jonathan Perlman
A spiritual divorce ceremony performed by the husband in the company of friends and family to reframe his divorce as a healing
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Jewish Divorce | Complete Ceremony
By Cantor Judith Bender
A brief mourning ceremony performed by a divorcee and her friends following a traditional get ceremony
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The Divorced Woman | Article
By Diane Cohen
A mourning ritual for a divorcee to be performed with a group of women friends immediately following the traditional get ceremony
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Divorce as Bereavement: Where Were My Cakes and Casseroles? | Article
By Sandra Winicur
This article describes ways in which the Jewish community can do a better job of reaching out to divorced women, especially those who were "left" by their spouses. While the author addresses herself to women, much of the same advice would apply to men in a similar situation.
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Bat Mitzvah Battle | Poem
Anonymous
A mother's poem describing her experiences with divorce as they affected her daughter's bat mitzvah
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