Lifecycles

Checklist

Task	When	Who
Set the date and inform family members of the date	At least one year prior to the event
Meet with the rabbi	Most rabbis will meet with the family 6-12 months prior to the event
Arrange for bar/bat mitzvah tutoring	6-12 months prior to the event
Decide on what kind of event you want – cost, scale, feeling, etc.	6-12 months prior to event
Book party location, caterer, photographer, any band or entertainment, florist, or decorator	6-12 months prior to the event
Help child decide on community service or bar/bat mitzvah project	6-12 months prior to the event
Develop guest list	6 months prior to event
Select and order invitations	6 months prior to event
Arrange out-of-town guest accommodations	6 months prior to event
Decide on events outside of the ceremony – childrens’ party, Friday-night dinner, Sunday brunch	6 months prior to event
Finalize menu	3 months prior to event
Order kippot	3 months prior to event
Mail invitations	2 months prior to event
Reconfirm service providers	1 month prior to event
Develop seating plan if having a sit-down meal	1 month prior to event
Arrange hospitality baskets for out-of-town guests; include directions and schedules	1 month prior to event
Coordinate rehearsal time with synagogue	1 month prior to event
Confirm final guest count with caterer	1 week before event

The above list assumes a synagogue service and a catered party. This is obviously not the only way to do a bar or bat mitzvah, as mentioned above. Furthermore, this is a party-planning list and does not get to the heart of the celebration – how you will make this a meaningful event for your child and your family. See the ritualwell overview on this along with other articles, read Rabbi Jeffery Salkin’s book, “Putting God on the Guest List,” and be sure to give as much attention to this issue as you do to the details of the party. It is easy to be overwhelmed by the details and forget why you are doing this.

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