When, Where, and Whom
Article
A bar or bat mitzvah is usually held as close the child’s birthday as possible. It is better to hold the bar or bat mitzvah after the birthday rather than before. The date is often set two years in advance. Bar and bat mitzvah’s are most often held on Shabbat morning as part of the regular Shabbat morning service. Some families hold a bar or bat mitzvah on the morning of Rosh Chodesh, or a Monday or Thursday morning when the torah is read to facilitate the attendance of out-of-town guests that do not drive on Shabbat. Some bar and bat mitzvah’s are held Friday night or Saturday night for havdalah.
A bar or bat mitzvah ceremony is usually held in a synagogue where the family are members. Many families follow the ceremony with a kiddush luncheon in the social hall of the synagogue. Sometimes this party is held elsewhere and sometimes there are additional parties on Saturday night or Sunday. Some families will hold a party Saturday night that is focused on the child and his or her friends. Sometimes a family that does not affiliate with a synagogue will rent out a hall or other space in which to hold the ceremony. Some families will rent out a camp of retreat center for a weekend and plan a full weekend of festivities for their guests.
The guest list can be any size you want and that your budget can manage. Many families invite the entire synagogue to kiddush luncheon following the service and then hold other parties for invited guests.
