Holidays

The missionary asked me
"Do you believe the Bible is the word of God?"
I answered him by beginning to chant
"Ba-chodesh ha-shelishi–on the third new moon
After the Israelites had left the land of Egypt
On that very day, they entered the wilderness of Sinai."

Ten years ago,
When I first learned to chant from the Scroll,
That was what I learned–"On the third new moon."
And every time I chant it from the Scroll
I remember again how it was.

Do I believe? I was there!
I remember what it looked like,
A bare mountain, not very tall,
With some scrubby bushes growing on the lower slopes.
They put up a fence around it
To keep the sheep from grazing in the scrub,
And warned us we'd be stoned if we went up there.
They didn't need to frighten us –
That mountain was scary enough all by itself.

Three days before the Big Event
They told us to get ready.
"Wash your clothes," they said,
And told the men
"Keep away from women" –
Not that it made much difference in my life.

On the Big Day
There were voices –
Thunder and lightning and a long blast of the shofar;
The mountain was covered in clouds and smoke.
On that day,
We saw the voices.

When you see voices
You never forget it as long as you live.

Breathing hard, eager, filled with terror,
We all pressed forward towards the mountain
Where God hid and beckoned.
I started to walk with my friend Merle
But like most of the women
She had her kids with her –

She had to carry the two-year-old –
And I just couldn't walk that slowly.
All I had to carry was my briefcase,
So I pushed right up there with the men.
I stood next to Miriam.
Now there was a hard-bitten career woman if I'd ever seen one,
Tall, gaunt, and bony
With a shock of frizzy black hair
A hawk nose
And haunted eyes.

The gossip about her in the camp was nasty
"Haggard old maid, no wonder she thinks she sees God."
"I hear she has quite a thing for Caleb ben Jephuneh,
But he won't give her a second look."
"You'd think, with all her brother's influence,
he could prevail on him to take her."
She looked just the person to dicker with pharaoh's daughter
About a nursemaid's hire
But I couldn't believe
She had ever taught Aaron to dance.
I never saw her smile.

We stood and waited, men and women.
The mountain smoked and steamed
It trembled and we trembled
The sound of the shofar got louder and louder
Moses spoke and God answered–

Ten years ago,
When I first learned to chant from the Scroll,
That was as far as I got.
And every time I chant it again
I stop before God speaks.